Are Travel Websites the new J. Peterman Catalog?

Seinfeld fans are intimately familiar with the infamous J. Peterman catalog. As Elaine puts it:

"Take a shirt, make up a flowery story, tack on a 200% markup...sure, I can do that".

As some of you know, I'm in the middle of planning for an upcoming trip to Costa Rica. My planning has taken me to all sorts of interesting travel websites, and I'm trying to sift through descriptions like this:


Arenal Observatory Lodge -

- The Smithsonian rooms have a picture window and a terrace that allows you to contemplate the magnitude of the volcano while enjoying the comfort of your bed or one of the strategically placed chairs.



please note the strategery needed to place the chair directly in front of the window. I wish I had thought of that first!

- Rates include: Personal attention by our host service manager, List of birds (wtf?), 11 year old and up are charged as adults (how is this a selling point)????

Mountain Paradise Hotel -

- Perched upon a hilltop overlooking the rolling valley below [what is this a bird or a hotel???]

- Besides a wonderful ambient environment around the property and inside your room, additional personalized services can be arranged. One such service is the ‘Real Service’ in which your meal will be prepared and served by a chef at your room. [why would I want a chef to make a mess in my room? that sounds kinda fishy]

Arenal Lodge -

- Fire... See Arenal Volcano from your room at Arenal Lodge

Nature... Feel the magic of the tropical rainforest.

Distinguished... Experience the Comfortable Ambiance and Guest Oriented Care.

Lost Iguana Resort:

- A premiere, upscale retreat nestled gently in the jungle, the new Lost Iguana Resort in Costa Rica only offers rooms with large private balconies overlooking the Arenal Volcano with front view of the active face of the volcano as this page was updated on February 12, 2006 (the lava as been flowing very day in this direction since March '05). Naturally by the time you visit us the volcano could change is mind and flow in an other direction but the awesome panoramic views of Lost Iguana Resort & excellent service will always remain.

How do I pick between these hotels????

Also, I apparently can't trust guidebooks from the Lonely Planet.